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HIRE ME TO SPEAK

AARP pisses me off

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UPDATE: About 20 minutes after I posted this, @tammy and the #AARPsocial team commented. Please take a look at that comment (the first one).

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AARP pisses me off 2Ever since I turned 50 years old two years ago, I’ve been receiving unsolicited AARP mailings that frequently include membership cards.

AARP pisses me off a little because they know the date I was born. They have some list. Yeah, I know that my personal information is all over the place. That’s cool and in many ways I celebrate it by posting personal stuff on social networks. But hitting me up based on my date of birth seems just a little creepy.

AARP pisses me off a little because the old-school interruption based junk mail they send me requires me to use valuable seconds in my day to sort.

AARP pisses me off a little because of the many tons of garbage they create by mailing stuff to Americans who are 50 and over. I open the packages they send so I can throw the stupid membership card into the regular trash and the rest into the recycle bin.

I’m too young!

But AARP pisses me off the most because I’m way to young to join a group called “American Association of Retired Persons.” Yeah, yeah, I know they changed their name to just the AARP acronym, but still. I’m not retired. I hope to work for many decades to come. And I’m not old.

I simply don’t want to be reminded that life marches on and I resent that AARP does that.

I took my daughter to University a few weeks ago. She is starting her third year. It was fun to haul stuff up to her room and laugh a little with her suitemates. I know I am not the same age as her friends, but I feel much closer to a University student than to a retired person.

AARP pisses me off because when I see those stupid envelopes it reminds me of mortality.

Getting old sure beats the alternative. But I’m not old now and won’t be for a long time.

Hey AARP. Can I opt out please? I don’t want to hear from you.

PS. Congratulations to Dianna Nyad completing her epic swim from Cuba to the US. She's 64! "You never are too old to chase your dreams," she said upon exiting the water.