I receive several dozen press releases in an average week. I'm interested in what technology companies are up to, but I'm just too busy to decipher press release gobbledygook. I normally give a press release ten seconds to catch my attention, but the surest way to get me to delete a release in frustration is to write the first paragraph in a way that I just can't understand.
Here are a few phrases from opening paragraphs or "about us" sections of press releases that were sent to me by well-meaning PR people. Do you know what these phrases mean?
...provides the most complete toolset to deliver interactive video experiences to global audiences using its content delivery network...
...a leading global developer and provider of performance-based marketing and commerce enabling services...
...a leading provider of browser-based data collection and analysis software...
...provider of appliance-based URL filtering, web-use reporting, IM and P2P control and bandwidth management solutions...
...technology enables individuals and organizations to harness the power of networks to achieve personal and business objectives...
